I wanted to discuss something my father-in-law shared with me a few weeks ago that I have found to be very profound.  We were having a conversation about tension and anxiety, something that he is very good at freeing people from.  He said that he has found in his life and in the lives of those he has helped that the “antidote” for tension/stress/anxiety is thankfulness and gratitude.  When you look at that from a psychological perspective, there is a great deal of accuracy and truth to ...

Many people struggle with the idea of forgiveness for many reasons.  The biggest reason often is because the hurt and pain that someone else has inflicted on them is so great, so deep, that the idea of forgiveness seems impossible.  Indeed, there are many wounds in life that are very hard to forgive.  Abuse, betrayal, lies, cheating, and many others create great pain and tension in our lives.  The problem with not being able to eventually forgive, is that we continue to carry these wounds w...

We all experience some form of depression in our lives.  Feeling down, sad, alone, and discouraged can happen to anyone.  However, it is when you are unable to overcome these feelings over time, or they continue to grow in strength that more intentional action needs to be taken.  Clinical depression is defined most directly by consistent feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.  The belief that nothing will ever get better and there is nothing that you can do to improve your situation.  T...

Many couples that we work with are at a crossroads in their relationship.  They are trying to decide if it really can work, or if it will not.  Every couple is different and therefore it is impossible to make broad statements about separation and divorce.  That said, the first thing to determine is which of the two paths you are on, divorce or restoration of your marriage.  Depending on how you both answer this question makes a huge difference in the steps you would take in your relationshi...

The next step may seem obvi...

We are made for community.  When it comes down to it, life really is all about relationships.  A common struggle for many is surrounding yourself with a healthy community of people.  People that know, support and love you.  People that will challenge and hold you accountable.  People you can be yourself around and be vulnerable to.

We often joke that there needs to be a website like match.com or eharmony.com that is for friends rather than for romantic relationships.  Many individuals and ...

The average person born in the latter years of the baby boom held 11 jobs from age 18 to age 44, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics of the U.S. Department of Labor.  It can be a long process to find a career we truly enjoy.  The work we do does much more than just provide an income.  It consumes the majority of our days during our time on earth.  For many it becomes an identity.  A definition of who they are.  For others it is simply a means to an end.  Surviving the grind until th...

There is no question that one’s emotional intelligence has profound impact on success in both personal relationships and career.  Your ability to be self-aware and aware of others emotions will play a bigger role than your IQ when it comes to reaching your fullest potential in all areas of life. 

The first step in growing your emotional intelligence is to build self-awareness and self-management.  Self-awareness means having an accurate self-assessment, being conscious and present in reg...

By intimacy, we don’t just mean physical intimacy.  Intimacy is an avenue of connection.  S...

            If you have not had a recent physical, that is often a great first step.  Next it is important to look at your sleep, diet and exercise.  Those three a...

What is Emotional Intelligence?

“The ability to be aware of, recognize and understand our own feelings and those of others and to constructively manage those emotions in ourselves and in our relationships.”  Emotional intelligence has been shown to be a greater predictor of success in life, jobs, marriage, parenting and relationships than IQ.  EQ begins with having an accurate self-assessment and awareness which means knowing what ou...

Marriage can provide the greatest opportunities for connection, love and intimacy.  Because we open our hearts so vulnerably to our spouses, we can also experience great pain and struggle in our marriages.  That is why it is essential to consistently be seeking to improve your marriage and connection with your spouse.

Throughout our years in counseling, there has been no greater joy than to see a couple move from a place of hopelessness in their marriage to a place of health and growth.  The...

In our American culture, most of us are constantly going mach 5 with our hair on fire in regards to our daily schedules.  In other words, we are extremely busy.  There are countless distractions competing for our time and attention.  The problem with this constant spin cycle is that we rarely slow down enough to hear our own thoughts.  If we don't allow ourselves the opportunity to quite the noises all around us, it is very easy to lose perspective on life.