When most of us think of having a loss, we often think of losing a family member, friend or loved one. There is no question that the death of someone close to us is a huge loss that needs to be grieved. One of the most helpful ways to begin processing a loss is to hand write about it. There is something powerful that happens as you allow your hurt, confusion, anger, sadness, desperation, pain, and anxiety to flow out of you, through the pen, and onto the page. Write about the situation, about the person, about memories, about the funeral, about how you currently feel. Finish by writing a letter directly to that person as a way of saying goodbye. This may take a few days or a few months to complete. It may be a couple pages or hundreds of pages. In addition to writing, reaching out to others for support and to share your story with is essential. You do not have to carry your loss alone.
The loss of a person is not the only loss that need to be grieved and processed in life. Some other losses that some may not initially recognize as significant but that can have profound impact on us are: moving, the death of an animal, divorce (self or of parents), broken relationship, job change, and abuse (whether verbal, physical, or sexual). These need to be recognized as losses in your life and need to be grieved if you have not done so already. While grief is different for everyone, it eventually allows all of us to gain a sense of closure and finality to the loss we experienced. If we deny ourselves the freedom and need to grieve, we can become lost, hopeless and cynical. Whatever your loss, free yourself to grieve through writing about it and sharing it with others.
For more information on grief and loss, please contact Nathan and Amy Oliver at www.olivercounseling.com.